TV two weeks in a row? It's cold outside, layoff me!
If we learned anything from last week, it's that I love watching a trainwreck play out on television. Live, recorded, who cares? So that's how I've ended up religiously watching new episodes of My Strange Addiction when they air each week.
For those not in the know, My Strange Addiction is a show on TLC that ran from 2010 to 2015, and is now back for a 7th season! It shares stories of people who have seemingly odd compulsions. Let's just get some episode titles out there to really nail the context of what we're talking about here.
"Addicted to Inflatables / Butt Injection Addict"
"Vapor Rub / Eats Tires"
"Eats Bricks / Married to a Carnival Ride"
"Sniffing Underwear, Kangaroo Mom, 100 Cups of Coffee"
Ok, you get the idea. We've got a few broad categories like "Eats weird thing" or "Tries to bone weird thing." The episodes are typically formatted so that the addict shares their story, then tells someone in their life, then sees a doctor.
There's always a moment in each episode where I start to feel bad for these people. There's clearly something going on in your life if you decide the only way to drink 100 cups of coffee each day, or eat makeup.'
Editor's Note: Both of the examples listed above are based in New Jersey, so we might've cracked the case on those.
But then there's a moment that happens in almost every episode, typically in Act 3, or "sees a doctor."
The addict listens to the doctor. They're shocked to find out that drinking 100 cups of coffee each day is going to kill them if they don't stop. Sometimes they break down, but they very rarely get mad at the professional. They thank the doctor for their help, lie to their face, and then boom.
There's a cut to a single shot, with the addict looking straight into the camera as they say something along the lines of, "Eh, probably going to keep doing it anyway," or "I've made it this far without their advice."
In that moment, a few questions pop into my mind.
Did I just waste an hour of my life watching that? Is that person ever going to be in recovery? Is TLC despicable for making money off of these people?
I don't know if I have the answers, but I do know to avoid shaky women from New Jersey and that I'll be sat for the new episode tonight.
Sound off in the comments below about your strange addiction!
Bop of the Week
Ok, so lately I've been taking Prince showers. I know what you're thinking. "500WOE staff, what the hell is a Prince shower?" A Prince shower is when you only turn your most dramatic lighting on in the bathroom, have a sip of wine or a quick visit with Penjarvus Green-Ellis, and then you play Prince as loud as Steve Jobs' iPhone will allow. It's fantastic, rejuvenating, and much-needed in the cold months.
So anyway, that's how I was introduced to Batdance. I'm furious no one told me about this. This should be on the level of international hits like Macarena, The Cupid Shuffle, and Stick Talk.
This is six minutes of heat from one of the best, interspersed with soundbites from the Keaton Batman. It's somehow two songs in one? There's a part where they say "Keep bustin'!", and I thought we were getting a Ghostbusters crossover.
Words don't do it justice. Listen to Batdance.
Movie of the Week
Harland County U.S.A.
Labor solidarity? ✅
Southern people teaching New Yorkers about life? ✅
Married couples going to the mat for each other? ✅
Little bit of gunplay? ✅
Dumbass of the Week
What do you know, Our President extends his commanding lead in this category after he boldly stated:
Penn Station is not named after Pennsylvania. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
Cutie Patootie of the Week
Look at how cute she is!