For most of my life, if you asked me to rank the Star Wars movies, Attack of the Clones would've been an easy sixth place. "It's boring," I would say, childishly. "There's no pod racing OR General Grevious," I would bellow, without the benefit of a fully developed prefrontal cortex.
I felt this way even recently, as I sat down on a Saturday to take a TV nap, and popped on the film thinking, "this will bore me right into the perfect slumber."
Chat, I did not slumber. I got sucked in from the jump and walked away with a new appreciation for the best prequel movie. Where do we even begin?
First, there's the scene in Coruscant at night. Obi-Wan and Anakin are tasked with keeping watch over Senator Amadala. Things are clearly starting to change for Anakin, who has gone from a child to a man-child. He's feeling capital-f FEELINGS. In the middle of one of the most intimate moments in any Star Wars movie, a conversation between mentor and mentee about love and responsibility, terror strikes. Both Jedi run into Amadala's room, and Anakin somehow jumps on the bed and kills two slugs inches from the Senator's face.
What ensues is an assassination attempt that transitions seamlessly into a space car chase. There's a moment where our protagonists are chasing the would-be assassin, and as she turns to look at the Jedi, her face phases slightly to her true, non-human form. That was the moment that made me say, "Stop, wait a minute, fill my cup and put some liquor in it."
From there, we're off to the (pod) races. Stunning scenes of rain-drenched Kamino and it's ET-after-being-tortured-on-a-rack inhabitants. There's the father-son duo of Jango and Bobba Fett.
There are beautiful shots of armies of clones that make the consequences feel real, and the scale feels smaller and larger at the same time. Smaller in the sense that this is a galaxy-spanning saga that's being set into motion by a solitary, lonely planet. Larger in the sense that you see the true scale of what cloners are setting into motion.
Then it's on to sunny Naboo to follow our lovers, a trip to Tatooine for a heartbroken son, and a final jaunt to Geonosis for some of the best action scenes in the entire series.
It's the first time we get to see that many lightsabers, that many combatants, that many droids and clones and extraterrestrial monsters.
Then we seal it with Yoda turning into a corgi with zoomies as he fights the big bad Dooku.
There's romance, action, statecraft, and despair. There are trade deals, first kisses, and a Watto cameo. There's even Samuel L. Jackson.
There are moments I appreciated as a child, like the aforementioned Yoda parkour duel, but there's also an amazing movie that I can't wait to watch again in 10 years and love even more.
(Other) Movie of the Week
Alambrista!
No lightsabers in this one, but it was a touching story about an immigrant man who tries to make the most of it in the US, only to realize that the American Dream might not be what it's cracked up to be. Now, more than ever, watch stories about immigrants! Empathize with this man who leaves everything to try to advance, only to realize he didn't have it that bad!
"Ham, eggs, and coffee."
Dumbass of the Week
Gavin Newsom
Shared regrets about being out front on gay marriage, podding with Shapiro, retweeting Richard Hannania. This man is a ghoul who is trying to lead you astray. Don't listen to him, and don't appease him. The person who leads our country to the state of class consciousness that's needed to build a better world will not be someone who spent his childhood vacationing with the Gettys.
Grizz of the Week
OUR Grizzlies are currently in a race to the bottom as they try to secure the best odds possible for the upcoming. Their franchise center had another ankle surgery, and their injury report is a rotating jumble of starters and bench players. 2-week injuries are becoming 2-month injuries, and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope found the time to have finger surgery. They just signed a 40-year old Taj Gibson.
"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
Bop of the Week
Two things I know to be true. Madden peaked with the 2004 edition, and Killer Mike's Akshon (Yeah!) was the best song on the soundtrack. Debate your microwave.