They're everywhere you look nowadays, these offspring of stars, and I'm here to tell you they're getting a bad rap for no reason. Or at least most of them. Looking at you, Nick Reiner.
So what if John David Washington and Dakota Johnson had an easier path to the big screen? Have you seen Materialists?! Who else is doing it like that? Who else is asking for a beer and a Coca-Cola while oozing sexuality and also coming off as someone reading a teleprompter that's slightly too far away?
Dakota Johnson did Madame Web. She's paid her dues. Leave her alone!
I've never really understood how this became a pejorative. I hope to have a kid one day, and if I can give them a clear path to financial freedom and a career of their choice, I'd love to! Unfortunately, I currently have zero casting directors or influential people in general in my contacts. I do have "Damien Airboat" though, so if they want to go see some gators in the bayou I've got them covered where it really counts.
The talented ones stick around, and the others start speaking in Jamaican Patois on the red carpet at the 77th Golden Globes, kicking off a global pandemic. Prove me wrong.
I know this is a bit rambling, but what I'm trying to say is that we should reward solid parenting that enables children to do great things, accept that the cream will always rise to the top, and investigate Chet Hanks for his role in the COVID pandemic.
Top 3 Nepo Babies
Maya Hawke
Elevated by the strength of a great lineage, she carried episodes of Stranger Things. I hope they give her every role she wants, but I really just want her to do a Before Sunrise reboot.
Taylor Dearden
Nobody is doing anxiety like our girl Taylor is doing anxiety. All that's left for her to do is start stealing supplies from the Pitt and open a meth lab in a camper in the Accrisure Stadium parking lot.
P.S. - It'll always be Heinz Field to me.
Scotty Pippen, Jr.
That's future Memphis Grizzlies starting point guard Scotty Pippen, Jr. to you. Love that they changed his first name. They'll never catch on!
3 Nepo Babies I could do without
Hailey Bieber
She seems nice, but c'mon, gimme something.
Marcus Jordan
Dated his dad's old coworker's wife, dipped on his college basketball team right before his senior season, and appeared on The Traitors.
George W. Bush
See here.
Ja Morant of the Week
It's a real shame this couldn't work out. There's enough blame to go around on both sides here that I won't get into that, but how sad this is? It was all there! They had a great starting five, led by a great point guard. That point guard was the biggest star in franchise history, who seemingly meshed perfectly with the city and the team. Yet here we are, blowing it up for draft picks so we can kick the can down the road. :(
Movie of the Week
His Girl Friday
I've been watching a lot of Howard Hawks lately, and this one might be my favorite. The lead actors are great without overacting, the side characters are memorable and add to the story, and the writing keeps getting better and better as the story moves along. This is your reminder to watch old movies!
Song of the Week
More Warren Zevon, forever.
Words of the Week
TJ Sabula, a true American patriot, speaking to our Commander-in-Chief